Posts tagged courtship

Spiritual Abuse in the Christian Patriarchy Movement

When I was asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say, “I’m going to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.” This wasn’t what I really wanted to be, but I believed that it was my destiny and that I had no other option.

As I got older, I was trained for this future, and I was told that after I graduated high school, I would stay in my parents’ home as a stay-at-home daughter until I got married. All my friends from church were given the same expectations. This was the norm in the Christian patriarchy movement.

Daughters were treated differently from sons because we were helpers in training. We were supposed to be dependent on men, protected by men. Any independence of thought or action was shut down . . .

ArticleCait WestDecember 6, 2021spiritual abuse, religious trauma, christian patriarchy, quiverfull, family-integrated worship, tears of eden, BITE model, authoritarian, high-control group, fundamentalism, exfundie, homemaking, homeschool, church, courtship, healing Comment

Leaving Religious Fundamentalism

When I was a child, I understood the world through a set of absolute rules that required absolute obedience. I heard these rules at home and at church, and I was very good at telling them to the neighbor kids. I was called a “goody two-shoes,” but I didn’t feel too offended because at least I was “good.” I desperately wanted to be good. And to me, that meant following the rules without question.

I can look back now and recognize that my life was controlled by religious fundamentalism—in my case, a Christian ideology framed by a rigid, literal interpretation of the Bible, which I was told was inerrant and completely transferrable to our modern lives.

Being controlled by religious fundamentalism or a high-demand group is a little like living in a very small, dark box . . .

JournalCait WestSeptember 30, 2021religious trauma, religious fundamentalism, christian fundamentalism, christian, fundamentalist, fundamentalism, exfundie, inerrancy, high-demand group, high-control group, courtship, bible, exvangelical, leaving, faithComment